I don’t want to hear it…

Offensive opinions and profanity after the jump.

I’m so sick of seeing crap like this on Facebook, it makes my head hurt.

Please note: If you’re in the process of changing your life, none of this is directed at you. I’m not talking about people in process, I’m talking about people who make excuses for why they can’t. Can’t never Could and never Will. If you’re making excuses, and this post makes you feel badly about things, perhaps a reevaluation is in order. Stop the excuses.

A while back, at the entrance of a gym, there was a picture of a very thin and beautiful woman. The caption was “This summer, do you want to be a mermaid or a whale?”

The story goes, a woman (of clothing size unknown) answered the following way:

“Dear people, whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, seals, curious humans), they are sexually active and raise their children with great tenderness.
They entertain like crazy with dolphins and eat lots of prawns. They swim all day and travel to fantastic places like Patagonia, the Barents Sea or the coral reefs of Polynesia.
They sing incredibly well and sometimes even are on cds. They are impressive and dearly loved animals, which everyone defend and admires.

Mermaids do not exist.

But if they existed, they would line up to see a psychologist because of a problem of split personality: woman or fish?
They would have no sex life and could not bear children.
Yes, they would be lovely, but lonely and sad.
And, who wants a girl that smells like fish by his side?

Without a doubt, I’d rather be a whale.

At a time when the media tells us that only thin is beautiful, I prefer to eat ice cream with my kids, to have dinner with my husband, to eat and drink and have fun with my friends.

We women, we gain weight because we accumulate so much wisdom and knowledge that there isn’t enough space in our heads, and it spreads all over our bodies.
We are not fat, we are greatly cultivated.
Every time I see my curves in the mirror, I tell myself: “How amazing am I ?! “

That particular post brought out the grump in me. Click the jump, but be warned, profanity and offensive opinions follow.

If you have to describe yourself with the euphemisms “Curvy” “bootylicious” “Voluptuous” “fluffy” etc., No. Stop right there. You’re overweight and chances are you’re unhealthy. On top of that, you’re making excuses so you’ll feel better about buying a one piece bathing suit with a goddamn skirt around the hips instead of buying a bikini and rocking it on the fucking beach. Your belly should not fold over when you’re standing up, and it certainly shouldn’t be in your lap when you sit down.
Yes, bodies come in all shapes and sizes, but EVERY body can and should be healthy. Every body should be able to move and bend and jump and go. You don’t have to be uber lean to be healthy, and yes, you can legitimately carry 5 or 10 extra pounds and not be too off base from where you should be, but be honest with yourself when you’re staring at the mirror and looking at a body with doughy flesh around the midsection, dimples in your ass, and only the basic muscle underneath to move your skeleton.
Don’t make euphemisms and expect me to embrace them.
Don’t bitch about companies like Lululemon not making their clothes larger. Fucking lose the weight. They’ve got a product, if you want to use it, fit your ass into it. It’s that simple.

Don’t tell me you can’t. I’ve seen too many people DO it. You’re just too fucking lazy to get off your ass, look at your pantry, throw out the goddamn bread, pasta, and sweets, and make a real change in your life by getting your fat ass to the gym and moving some weight and getting some muscle on your frame.

Don’t tell me you can’t. If you don’t know how, find some resources and fucking read. Mainstream media DOES NOT COUNT. Find a personal trainer who’s got testimonials and credentials who can put a plan together for you that will get results. Not all trainers are the same, not all gyms are the same.
Don’t tell me it’s too expensive. Moving your ass is free, squatting, doing pushups, jumping up and down, they’re free. Burpees don’t cost you a goddamn thing…they just suck. Well, suck it up cupcake. The benefits outweigh anything else.

Have an injury? Get it treated, go through your rehab, and get back to work. You’d be surprised what can be fixed by actually USING the body. If it ain’t cured by fish oil and squats, you’re probably going to die anyway. Ok, not really, but the point stands. Moving your body actually makes it feel better.

Guess what you get, if you make the change you’ve been, up to now, too cowardly to attack?

A sense of pride. A sense of accomplishment. Your body will move better. You’ll sleep better. You’ll breath better. You’ll want to eat better. Your outlook will change to something more positive…on every thing. Your brain and mind will be sharper. You’ll WANT to go to the park with your kids and actually PLAY.

And, telling me “I run every day” and “I spend 30 minutes every day on the elliptical and the weight just won’t come off” while noshing a diet coke and candy bar will make the vein in my temple throb. First of all, stop eating processed food. That simple. Second of all, find something heavy, pick it up and put it down, repeat several times. PUT SOME MUSCLE ON YOUR FRAME. Women who avoid weights because of fear of being too bulky are generally already bulky.

Don’t make excuses. Make the change.


2 Responses to “I don’t want to hear it…”

    • I’d say most of that was “thinspiration”. Those women aren’t fit at all, for the most part. Britney is an exception as is Rihanna. the rest…Eat a burger and lift a fucking barbell.

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