Verbal abuse…

Verbal abuse includes withholding, bullying, defaming, defining, trivializing, harassing, diverting, interrogating, accusing, blaming, blocking, countering, lying, berating, taunting, put downs, abuse disguised as a joke, discounting, threatening, name-calling, yelling and raging.

Verbal abuse is one of the worst and most insidious types of abuse because it’s so very hard to pinpoint. Fists and hands and weapons leave marks we can all see. Words…they don’t leave visible scars. Their scars are on the psyche, and the soul. And often, because of the lack of physical trauma, verbal abuse is dismissed.

Chances are you’re reading this, and you’re wondering why or how this applies to you.

Quite simply, it’s a heads up to you…to ignore the voice in your head.
How many of you have deferred a compliment this week? Someone telling you that you look great, and you say “Oh shush…it’s nothing and I have so very far to go.”? Or a compliment on your strength and you say “Oh it’s nothing compared to ______.”
How many of you have looked in the mirror this week, getting ready for work, turned around, and lamented your ‘fat ass’?
How many of your friends have complimented you on a great shirt, dress, or pair of jeans, and you’ve responded with “Are you kidding? Look at this smoosh hanging out here!!”?

Seriously.

Stop and think about it.

I mentioned before, you wouldn’t let a man talk to your daughter like you talk to yourself…don’t talk to yourself that way either!

None of us is perfect. That kinda sucks, because we’ve been conditioned to aspire to perfection. It’s unattainable. So stop.

What we can do is get better. Every day.

That voice in your head, and your very on denials and protestations and deferments of compliments, they’re the same as an abusive spouse. Toxic. Dangerous. Stifling.

Commit yourself to ignoring that voice. The next time someone throws you a compliment, take it in the sincere manner it was meant, and say THANK YOU! You’re working hard, you deserve the kudos. Don’t defer it. Don’t deny it. TAKE IT.

If you’re not here yet, if you’re still waiting to get started, don’t wait any longer. Make the decision to commit to yourself physically at least three hours a week…and commit mentally full time. Commit to being better every day than you were the day before. Commit to being the strongest, fastest, best, most beautiful, positive, and happy YOU you can be. You’re never going to match the unreality of a magazine cover. Neither am I. That doesn’t and shouldn’t stop either of us from working to improve every time we begin.

Stop the abuse.
Commit to yourself.

You’ll be glad you did.

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